Setting the Saints to work

When you invoke divine assistance do you simply say “Oh God”? Have you ever felt the need to address your prayers to a slightly more identifiable individual, with specialized skills perhaps, rather than an abstract Deity? If so, then a solution exists. The Roman Catholic Church has a panoply of patron saints precisely to minister to the needs of particular groups and professions. This as not archaic medievalism, because the Church has kept commendable progress with modern commerce. Alongside patron saints for shepherds, farmers and fishermen, are those for electricians, television workers, and even advertising executives.

Patrons saints acquire their status both through unofficial adoption by particular groups, as well as official declaration by the Vatican. Saints who followed a particular profession commonly became its patron. St. Peter was a fisherman and St. Matthew, a tax collector before Christ called them to follow him; they continue to oversee the interest of fishermen and tax collectors respectively. St. John od God sold books before suddenly being inspired to give them away and take care of the sick; he is the patron saint of book builders. St. Raymond of Penafort was a famous doctor of civil and Church law, and has the difficult brief of defending lawyers.

In many cases, the saints were not professionals, but they did show relevant abilities. St.Martha cooked for Christ and is hence the patron of cooks and housekeepers. St.Luke wrote the most poetic of the gospels and is hence reversed as the patron of all creative people, whether sculptors, writers or painters. (Recently, a fledgling ad agency in Britain named themselves St. Lukes’s in his honor. The saints’ blessings are presumably with them, since the advertising magazine Campaign recently named them as one of the most creative and fastest growing agencies). St. John Chrysostom was the famous preacher(Chrysostom means ‘golden voice’); he is the patron of announcers spokesman. St. Francis de Sales wrote a popular book on Christianity; with dur reverence we hail him as the patron saint of journalists. He complemented by St. John Bosco, also a fine writer, who is the patron of editors.

The saints have kept the up to date by extending earlier patronages. From tax collection, St. Matthew now covers all financial areas – he is also the patron of accounts, bankers and customs officials. St. Eligius was the patron of jewelers since he was one himself; with many jewellers becoming clock-makers, he took them up as well. St. Yves shares responsibility for lawyers wit St. Raymonds, but has Diversified from there into insurance agents and underwriter. St. Maurice, the patron of dyers, look after dry cleaners today since most of them are also dyers. St. Genevieve was the patron of upholsterers (we have no idea why); today she has, in management jargon, integrated vertically to take into account the interior decorators who employ upholsterers.

Several patronages derive from anecdotes, and what we find particularly appealing here is that some imagination, even humour, has gone into making the linkages. For examples, what could be appropriate than to make St. Gabriel, the archangel who announced the coming of Christ to Mary, the patron saints of all postal and telecommunications workers? St. Veronica, wiped Christ’s face as he carried the Cross, and found his image preserved on the cloth; she is now the patrons of photographers. St. Frances of Rome beheld her guardian angel before her continuously for several years; judging this a useful ability for the road, The Vatican made her the patron of motorists. St. Joseph of Cupertino was famed for his ability to levitate; today he is the patron of the online pilots.

St. Bernadine of Siena, a famous preacher, would hold up a plaque at the end of his sermons on which he wrote the words. IHS (Latin for Jesus Christ, Saviour of Man) surrounded by rays of light. For this use of images in driving home a message, he has become the much-needed patron of advertising executives. One case has an intriguing Indian connection – St. Thomas, who died in India, build a palace for an Indian King; for this, he is a patron of architects.

Several saints have acquired their patronages through their martyrdoms. St. Appolonia was tortured by having her jaws broken and teeth extracted; with gruesome appropriateness she is the patron saints of dentist. St. Lawrence was roasted alive so, understandably, is the patron of firemen. (He taunted his torturers by saying, “turn me so I may be roasted on other side.” For this he is sometimes credited as a patron of cooks!). St. Sebastian was tied to a pole and shot with arrows, and when that failed to kill him, was clubbed to death. Rather peculiarly, he is now the patron of archers and of the police.

Some patronages are really circumstantial. St. Anthony of Padua is the best known as he saint to pray to when once has lost something (the story is that a novice who had forgotten a return book to him, suddenly had a terrifying vision which made him hastily restore it). He is also in the unexpected, if the delicious, position of being the patron saint of delicatessens. This stems from a privilege given to the order of monks he founded, of letting their pigs forage freely everywhere. Accordingly, he was often depicted with pigs and hence became associated with their end products.

Even odder is St. Fiacre. He is the patron saint of gardeners since reasonably enough, he was an excellent one himself. But because a hotel in Paris names after him name the central point for all the city’s rented hackney carriages, his name was used, in, French, to describe the carriage themselves. The connection stayed as the carriages evolved into today’s taxicabs, and some point, the saint was co-opted along with his name into becoming the patron of all taxis. St. Jude is the patron of all lost causes for a suitably sad reason. Since his name so resembled that the Judas, a person would have to be in extreme despair before he called upon this saint!

There are several mysteries about patron saints that we haven’t been able to solve. Who was St. Expeditus, and why does he have the important patronages of all business executives? (He had another commendable patronage. While St. Frances of Rome takes care of drivers in general, St. Expeditus looks after learner drivers). St.Louis was a King of France; how has he landed he rather frivolous sounding patronage of hairdressers and furnishers? Why is St. Dominic the patron of engineers? Or St. John the Lesser Of hatters? Is there any sinister connection between boilermakers and gravediggers that makes St. Maurus their joint patron? Or between actors and shorthand typists to make St. Genesius their patron?

And since secretaries are supposed to know both shorthand and typing, why a separate saint for them in St. John Cassian? And how has St. Francis of Assisi, who preached the virtues of poverty, ended up as a patron of shopkeepers and tradesmen? Could any devout reader provide us with some answers?